Life lessons

Wow, so last night i really realized that i let someone whom i trusted and thought was a good person manipulate me. They pulled me and pushed me around for a while, and i thought it was all for the better. I didn't see anything really wrong with it at the time, because i didn't feel pushed or pulled into any certain direction. I felt accepted, i felt wanted, i felt like a person that i hadn't ever felt like before. It was wonderful, it was great and i was happy, until last night..... when things really clicked. I really realized at that moment what i had just put myself through, and how i allowed myself to be treated. I severed a great relationship with another friend, whom i had known longer because of this person. I let myself be torn apart and made into someone i never thought i would be. I had a great friendship with someone who cared about me, who cared about what i said. He accepted me as me, and he was always there when i needed him even if he was in another town. I smashed all of this, for someone who i thought was like that, but ended up not being that person at all... they bashed this friend that i ended a friendship with, they told me multiple times that i wasn't hurting them at all, when in fact, i was hurting them more and more everyday. Last night i cried and cried and cried because i could not believe i let someone do that to me, i let someone come into my life and change who my friends were. I cannot believe it has taken me this long to realize this, but i am extremely happy that i did finally come to my senses, and that this old friend was there for me to go to and accept my apology! I vow to anyone and everyone, that i WILL NOT allow ANYONE to come between a friendship i already have, the friendships i have are here for a reason, and if they are suppose to be broken, then it will happen for reasons that are not because i have gained a new friend.... or so i thought.

Nick and I have reconciled our differences as of tonight. I wrote him a 3 page apology stating everything has happened between Zachary and I and how i changed and how i have realized what a horrible person i am for ever letting him come between us. Nick has been there for me through thick and thin, he has helped me with everything imaginable and i cannot believe one friendship ended that. I am extremely upset about that but i am so glad that he has forgiven me, although it will take time for everything to increase again and it will never be like it was before, but it sure will be close and that is all i ask for!

I want everyone to know that i will never allow that to happen again, and i have learned so many lessons, more then i ever thought possible with one mistake!

Alternative Break Weekend--Trip 1 of 3

Alternative Break Weekend- Trip 1:

This past weekend I was lucky enough to be able to go and volunteer in Denver with 12 other people from CSU for 3 days. I was accepted into this program with the ability to go and participate in three different trips with the same group of people who are all also interested in volunteering and taking trips. This trip was he first of three and we left Fort Collins Friday November 21st and then left Denver to head back either to Fort Collins or home Monday November 24th.

Friday November 21st:

We had a potluck at one of the site leaders’ apartment. We got to talk about our excitement and what we were most nervous about with the trip. We then talked about who would be driving and who was leaving straight from Denver to go home and who was coming back, to make sure we had enough cars to get the people back to Fort Collins. We packed all of the cars with all of the food and people and headed out. We had to stop at one persons’ house so they could drop off the food that was extra so her roommates could eat it and it wouldn’t go to waste. At that point, the rest of us waited for her to come and we would continue the train of cars down to Denver, but some miscommunication happen and two of the cars left without the three others of us, so as we were waiting for this person, it was found that she was actually on the road, so we started on the road and headed to Denver.
We had no idea where we were going. No one knew where we were staying; all we had was an address and the fact that it was a house that is rented out for free to people who are staying in Denver volunteering for free. Two Missionaries own it and they have a housekeeper and when they are gone, it is rented out and their story is told and we learn about what they do.
We arrived to Denver after 9pm and started to unload our stuff, when the housekeeper named Phil began to show us around. We found out that it had 12 bedrooms and then 2 kitchens and a large basement. It was a really nice place- very old, but a nice place. We all had to decide where we were staying, when we decided we would all stay in the basement together. So, we were in this very large house with almost enough bedrooms for everyone to have his or her own, and we decided to sleep together in the basement. We then started listening to what Phil had to say about the house and the people that lived their and his job and it was interesting, but he talks a lot. We didn’t even get to bed until 2 am, which was really ridiculous!
Phil works with the illegal Hispanics that come into the country. He works to fight for their rights especially when they are not being treated fairly or being paid. He takes the employers to court and does protests and stuff in front of these businesses if they are known not to pay their workers and threaten the lives of the Spanish.

Saturday November 22nd:

We woke up at 6:15am and headed over to El Centro where Phil does a lot of stuff with the illegal immigrants. We brought them donuts and also talked to a few of them. It was very awkward because almost all of us couldn’t speak Spanish and these men couldn’t speak English so we felt weird and I personally didn’t want to be there anymore because I didn’t feel comfortable and I felt that if you are going to have a conversation with someone, you should at least know the language, but I personally could not do anything except understand what they were saying. I could not respond to anything they said, other then basic stuff.
We then finally left there around 8:30 and 4 people went to Earth Links and volunteered and the rest of us went over to Samaritan House. I went over to the Samaritan House and helped to move boxes around in the warehouse. They had boxes all over the place and had boxes of Olympic apparel that needed to be put away and into boxes to be given out later. This apparel was from Atlanta as they were a a contestant for the 2013 Olympics, but they couldn’t sell it all. Some of it was also from Tour de France and clothes left over from the Olympics being in China. We also moved large boxes of diapers from one set of shelves to another so they could have room for Christmas toys and holiday stuff. I never realized how heavy diapers were until I was trying to more over 100 of these boxes! It was ridiculous! Some members of our group painted the stairwell railings. We talked to a guy named Robert who was the one that gave us the stuff to do, and he was so honest about the organization. He didn’t hold back to what could be done to improve the place and he was all by himself running this place for maintenance. The Catholic Charities (who runs Samaritan) decided to lay people off and his partner was laid off and now he must do all the maintenance by himself along with other stuff. It takes over $1000 an hour to run the place properly, which is absolutely ridiculous. We learned about how this place takes in the homeless and helps them get back on their feet if they want that ability. They also have an Overflow place where the homeless that don’t get into the House which houses over 100 men and 48 women and 21 families, can go at night. They raffle off beds at night and if you don’t get a bed, you get a ticket and can come in at 8pm to sleep on a mattress for the night.
We left there and headed back to our house to stay the night and while we were there we decided that the people at Earth Links might like to actually work at the Samaritan House serving food at night, were a few of us were supposed to go back and help. We called them up and they said they were extremely bored and wanted to know if 3 of us could come and take their places. I went with two other people to trade off. When we got their we learned that all they had been doing was sitting at a table and selling items all day, at this point they had been there from 9am to 3pm. We were only there for one hour so that was a very good thing, but that hour went by extremely fast.
Earth Links is a place where the homeless and people of low-income can work in a garden maintaining it and dry and press the flowers during the summer. They get paid to do this, and then in the winter they use those flowers that they dried and pressed, to make bookmarks and candles and candle holders. These are then sold online, and at random churches. The money goes to pay for their salary and then to buy new flowers to plant and maintain. It is a revolving circle and they are a non-profit organization.
After leaving Earth Links, we headed back to the house where we learned that the people were not home and so we walked around the block and waited outside of the house until they got back. They had gone on a walk and went to blockbusters to see if they could find some movies that Phil was talking about.
We started to make dinner for the night, which was spaghetti and salad. We all originally were doing that, but then decided it was just too much and half of us went up to the second kitchen and started to make the cookies that we would be handing out later in the weekend. Our first batch of cookies was a complete mess and it was horrible. We forgot the sugar, salt, water, vanilla, and baking soda. It was a sad time ☹ But we had a blast during the whole experience and we were laughing and talking so much and we just had a great time even with our problems. We made 3 sets of doubled batched cookies and that took forever!
At dinner we realized that Phil had invited some people over. They were his friends and they lived down the street and knew all about the people who lived in the house and wanted to meet us. They were some nice people.
After they left, we had a group meeting about what we were doing on Sunday as Phil wanted us to do stuff, but we already had something planned. Phil wanted us to go to Spanish Mass and do a protest with him and something else, but we had a plan of and “emergent experience” already planned out. I really wanted to do that because going to Mass was not my thing, and this guy was already annoying me. He kept changing out plans and wanted us to do everything with the illegal immigrants and not really the homeless, which was our original plan. It was interesting. Some people really wanted to do his stuff and some wanted the experience. We decided that we would do the experience and if later you wanted to join up with Phil you could, because mass didn’t start until 9:15 and the experience started at 6am. We headed to bed around midnight and had to be up at 5:30am.

Sunday November 23rd:

We were woken up at 5:30am and had to be out of the house no later then 6am. We were sent in groups of two to be “homeless” for a day. We were given an identity and had to accomplish about 3 different goals for the day, along with surviving the day. My partner and I were given the identity of being 16 year old homeless teens. We started out walking with another group but then decided to branch off and go on our own once we got away from where we were staying during this trip. We stopped at a bus station first and got a map and realized it was extremely warm in there. We then walked over to the Samaritan House to get breakfast, but we couldn’t find the breakfast line, so we decided to leave. We headed down to 16th Street Mall. It was absolutely ridiculous. It was dark and cold and no one was outside because it was like 7:30 in the morning on a Sunday. We walked around and we realized the only people who actually said hello were the homeless or the people cleaning the streets. I thought it was crazy to see the homeless so friendly to others in the morning, where the people who have no worries about where they sleep at night and where they stay warm, are snobby and stupid. It really brought into prospective of whether or not I do that on a daily basis. We decided it was getting really chilly and needed to get warm, so we headed back to that bus station where everything was warm. We sat in the bus station for about 45 minutes and talked and noticed that there were 2 other people who were homeless sleeping-one at a table and the other on the floor in the corner. It was so surreal to see that it really does happen just as in the movies. As we sat there, we just talked and watched a little television, at which point we an announcement came up on the overhead thing and they stated they were doing a security check and would be coming around to check tickets. We looked at each other and asked what we should do and we decided to stay and see what they said. They came around and asked for our tickets, at which point we told them we didn’t have any and they asked us to leave. We asked why since we were just trying to get warm and they said we just needed to leave and told us to not come back. They watched us as we left the station and headed back into the cold. At this point was really where I realized that the homeless are really targeted and that is when I really felt neglected and put down and horrible. We were just kicked out of a place where we were not causing any trouble, and just wanted to get warm and had no where to go. It was a very crazy experience. We then headed to the library that was like 8 blocks away and saw that it was closed which was really bad because we needed to find something to do all day, it was really crazy because we walked so far just to find it was closed. We then headed back to 16th Street Mall, where it was more daylight and people were walking around. We decided to go into Starbucks where we would ask for a phone book and see if we could get an address for a place called Urban Peak where homeless teens go, but they didn’t have a phonebook, but we did take some free samples because we were starving. We then decided that we would go to other Starbucks because we thought we could get some more samples but alas, no one else had any! It was lame!
We then headed to Barnes and Noble to get a phonebook, and while we were there looking at the phonebook, the guy kept rushing us and really wanted us out of there because we didn’t fit in the traditional stereotype of having money and being properly “dressed.” After leaving there and being rushed, again I felt pressured and unwanted. It was a really hard thing to come across and really think about. I was having a hard time understanding what to do with myself and who would actually accept us for who we were, not what we looked like. While walking down 16th Street Mall, again, the only people that would look at us were the homeless, and everyone else seemed to do a double take or walk far around us. The homeless only nicely greeted us. Which was another eye opening experience. We sat on a bench and recollected our experience with each other and listened to two others talk about their life. They seemed to “look” homeless, but one of them kept talking about his apartment and refrigerator, so who knows, but that also fits into the stereotype of looking like something, which apparently was what we looked like. We decided to head back to Samaritan House for lunch around noon and when we go there we observed what was going on and how the lines looked. We felt guilty about taking their food… someone who truly needed it would be denied it because we took it, so we just headed back to our home where we could get food.
It was so different to think that we were only out there as long as we wanted to be and could go back home whenever we choose but the actual homeless could not. They had to live like that day after day. They struggled daily. It was an amazing weekend and so many of my thoughts have changed about homelessness and I really believe so much happened that changed everyone’s view. Without this experience I really do believe that I would not be the person I am today writing this, I believe I would still be an arrogant person about homelessness. I really think that people need to open their eyes about what the world is going through and see that the homeless are not out there to cause trouble, they just want to survive.
We also participated in a protest against School of America’s and that was the most ridiculous thing I have ever participated in, in my life. We thought we would be protesting with a group of people that had been affected by School of Americas and others, but instead it was a bunch of white arrogant people pretending like they knew what they were fighting for and they really did not. I did not feel wanted there or comfortable protesting with these people, so 5 of us decided that we would head back to where we were staying because we did not want to be part of this and it was horrible. They were not happy with us when they arrived to our house at the end of the protest. I really didn’t care but we did participate in the last part of the thing where they read off names of the people who had been killed by these graduates of the School of Americas… that was interesting, could have been better but alas, it was not. I believe that if they had just gone through the experience we did with the emergent experience they would have approached this protest very differently, or if we hadn’t done the experience, I believe we would have approached it differently and we wouldn’t have felt so uncomfortable supporting this, but with out experience it just left us uneasy.

Monday November 24th:

We got up around 8am and made lunches for the homeless out of the leftover food we had stored over the week. We had extra bagels, PB&J, and some fruit. We then packed the cars and headed down to a park and handed it all out. It was also a nice experience and we came across some people that really thought we were a religious group and kept telling us to be on our own. We could only save ourselves if we were individuals and that following and listening and conforming to what the people say to do is bad. Yeah, we already know that….which would be why we aren’t part of religious groups, but if I were them, I believe I would also think we were religious because that is generally who comes out to help the homeless. I encountered my first smell of pot and that was an experience….it really stinks, just for you all to know! Haha! I thought I was going to throw up with the smell as he smoked it and we sat there listening to him talk about Philosophy and stuff.
We then headed home around noon. I was extremely glad to be home, but I learned so much and really bonded with the people in my group that it was bittersweet!!

Links:

Earthlinks: http://www.earthlinks-colorado.org/

School of Americas: http://www.soaw.org/type.php?type=8

I am "It" now, Misty has tagged me 

My 8 Favorite TV Shows: I am with Misty on this--- I don't watch much TV

• Grey's Anatomy
• Private Practice
• Jon and Kate Plus 8
• Little People Big World
• Uh.....
• Hmm.......
• I don't watch more then 2 hours of TV a week..... hmmm
• Uh..... sorry

8 Favorite Restaurants: This one is easy.... I LOVE TO EAT!! LOL!

• Chick Fil-A
• Cici's Pizza
• Fargo's
• Old Chicago's
• The Pita Pit
• Texas Roadhouse
• uh..... 
• Braiden Dorm Food? I dont' eat out :( 

8 Things that happened yesterday

• Worked on History Essay's
• Worked on Sociology Essay
• Studied for biology with Nathan and Eddie
• Ate Lunch
• Ate Dinner
• Studied for Sociology
• Went to the library to find books for my lab report
• Worked on my lab report

8 Things I look forward too:

• Thanksgiving
• Volunteering!!
• Seeing my nieces and nephews
• Maybe seeing Yellow over thanksgiving, but defiantly over Winter Break!!!!!!
• Possibly seeing Zachary in December!
• Hanging out with the family over Winter Break (Misty, Amie, Aunt Susan.... you know, those people!!)
• Spending time with old friends
• Next Semester Classes!!!!!!!

8 Things I love about Autumn:

• LEAVES!!!!!!!!!
• The colors
• The cool air....just perfect for Colorado
• family time
• The unpredictable weather
• Photography opportunities
• Relaxing.... everything seems to slow down at this time of year
• Food..... :)

8 Things on my wish list: 

• For Mason to continue to touch other peoples lives like he has our family
• For Misty's family to get the things they need to continue down this long journey 
• To find a career that i really enjoy and would love to be at forever
• To keep the amazing family and friends I have now who have helped me through everything
• To learn more about the people around me to better help myself understand them and help them more
• For everyone to find what makes THEM happy in life, whether it involve college or not. 
• To find that special someone sooner or later :)
• To learn to accept myself for who I am and not change for others in order to get acceptance. 

You are "IT" (whom ever is reading this) (Misty I believe you are the only one... haha!)

Halloween

Wow, this week has been another crazy week. Ups and downs, but it was well worth it. 

It really wasnt' too bad. 

Zachary called to tell me he had a girlfriend and I was like "hmm, okay?" i really don't care? haha, he thinks i care but i really don't. I am the one that turned him down when he brought up the idea, not the other way around, so he should be the one that is upset. He confuses me, but whatever, he is a good guy and i am glad he found someone to love him and make him happy. I guess he just wants me to care more then I do, but its hard when I don't really understand the reasoning and the things he has chosen to hide from her. His life, not mine.... just waiting for that call to say they broke up. 

Anyway. I got my purity ring, and have chosen to wear it. I am still a little questionable about it, but it is something i want to do for me right now, and if i change my mind later after in a relationship then we will see what happens, but for now, i would rather get into a relationship with a guy who knows and can visually see that i am waiting until marriage and then change my mind after a while then get into one, with that being the only thing on his mind. 

Halloween..... Angela and I were going to have a friend over for the night, but her mom decided that she wanted to go to the movies with her instead, and Eddie and Nathan ended up backing out, so it was just the two of us. We watched Texas Chainsaw Massacre and i seriously laughed through that movie instead of being scared or screaming/jumping. I apparently am not a good scary movie person as this has been the 2nd  one i have laughed through. We also watched The Nightmare Before Christmas and The Bucket List. 

On the spare of the moment i decided that I would send a "Happy Halloween" text to Oliver as i do on every holiday, not expecting anything back, but he did! He sent a text saying he was in town and wanted to get together! It was amazing! I was so excited! So we got together at about midnight :) He is a great guy, and if i can "become the person you (me) are in text" we will have a second chance. I don'tunderstand that i am different from text to person, but apparently i am and will work on that. I want this second chance and am grateful that i could actually end up with one! He is a great guy, and I am thankful for that surprise last night! It was a great Halloween. 

Today I went to Walmart and got candy for 50% off which is great! It makes up for not going trick or treating or having the left overs from handing it out. 

I hope to hear from you. I hope your Halloween went great! 

I love you,

Jennifer

Pictures

Horsetooth and Cornmaze/Ice Cream photos!! 

Part of the 283048 different paths we hiked

The only little bit of water coming from the "waterfall!" 

Waterfall.... haha, great isn't it?

If you look closely you can see a butterfly on the left part of the flower

Beautiful Flowers

Amazing view!

Eddie being a Super hero!!

Beautiful part of the reservoir 

Boys just being boys (Nathan and Eddie)

Hehe, Hiding behind corn :) (Nathan)

At Ben and Jerry's 

Past 2 weeks

These past two weeks.... WOW! Totally has had its ups and downs, a little too ridiculous if you ask me, but i guess that is just life. 

The weekend of October 17-18 I went out with Nathan and Eddie and Angela. It was a BLAST. Friday night i was originally planning on going up to Boulder but decided against that and decided to stay and hangout. Nathan and I decided we were going to go see a movie called Max Paine. We getting Angela and Eddie to go with us, but we had 2 hours before the movie to do something, so we went to walmart because everyone else needed to go, and i was just going to go on saturday anyway. So we get to walmart and it is about 8pm. We walk around and then end up in the movie section at which point we decided to buy a movie. I have never seen a scary movie and thats what they wanted to see so we decided on Halloween. That was NOT scary nor even creepy! We left Walmart about 9:45 or so, and got back to the dorm and we decided to watch it in my room. So, it was Eddie, Nathan and I on my bed and angela was on hers. We watch this movie and not even halfway through i begin to fall asleep. It wasn't creepy or scary.... just stupid and boring. Eddie however was hilarious! He jumped so much during the movie, even breaking his necklace at one point. Nathan actually even jumped because it was "creepy" at one point, i just laughed. We then played some games and Eddie and Nathan left about 2am. It was a good night. 

Saturday was a very early morning as Eddie and I left for a hike. We had this hike planned for a while and so we didn't want to cancel as who knew when the weather would turn horrible.  We went up to Horsetooth Reservoir and hiked for a good 3.5 hours! It was amazing! The weather was great and the scenery was beautiful. I took over 150 photos and enjoyed the whole time we were there. After we left we were headed to get lunch when Nathan called and wanted us to join him for dinner at 5:15 with his sister.... so that was only 2 hours away, so we just got a hamburger from McDonalds and headed to the mall so we could get Eddie a new chain for the necklace that broke on Friday. We saw Nathan at the mall with his sister so that was interesting. We went back to the dorm just as Nathan and his sister arrived so that worked out perfectly. I went and got a sweatshirt and we jumped in Nathan's sisters car, got dinner and went for ice cream. We then went to a scary cornmaze and it was interesting. haha, i thought it would be scary, but it really wasn't..... Eddie of course was so freaking scared it was so funny! He jumped at everything we heard and saw, and so did Heather (nathan's sister). Nathan tried to scary me a few times, but only got me to actually jump once. It was interesting to say the least. We had so much fun in the 3 cornmazes and we experienced some great things and we had a great time! I really enjoyed being out of the dorm and hanging with some fun people! We are going to try and do something fun like that with the three of us (Heather doesn't live in CO) at least once a month. 

This past week had is downs and i got so stressed it was too hard to overcome! It was ridiculous, i know i ruined some test grades that i could have done well on because of everything going on. 

For some reason i have been really thinking of Oliver A LOT and it is really killing me! I miss that kid so much and so i have been talking to him a lot and we have been talking about relationships and that lovely stuff, but i don't know what i want to do. I don't know if i can do it again. I really don't know, but it has been bringing me down to a low i never thought i would encounter. We will see what happens. 

Nathan is also being really weird. Things between us have been really hard because some girl has told him that she likes him but he doesn't like her like that and so she has been talking to me about it, and its hard because i could really careless and i dont' now how to make it easier on her. She is a great girl, but if he doesn't like her then there isn't anything i can do and she wants me to fix it. Nathan has been talking to me about her and what he should do to get her off of his back so that has been weird. I don't know.... its a complicated situation and things just need to be uncomplicated. I also figured out that this past week has been about me helping others and not doing anything for myself. 

This past weekend i didn't do much other then go out with my mum and stepdad. We just went to Old Town and walked around and then went shopping for a few things. Sunday i didnt' do anything except my biology project with a very crabby Nathan and then i just went to bed early. 

Monday was a crappy day, was pissed most of the day and didn't want to do anything.  I then was approached with the idea of a purity ring. I am unsure how i really feel about that? What honestly is a purity ring? I know the basics, but i want to understand the whole thing! I don't know much of anything about it so i am confused other then that you wear is on your ring finger until you get married and only at that time is it removed and replaced with your wedding ring. I dont' know if i want to accept the challenge to the fullest? I know i am abstaining and that lovely stuff, but i dont' know if i want a ring that says i am a virgin for the whole world to see! So confusing...... :(

That has pretty much been my life since i last posted a few things! 

I hope to hear from you soon! 

I will post more when i get a chance, i need to get to class. 

I love you. 

Photos from the past 7 weeks

These are just some photos from the past 7 weeks.....i  have a lot more on my facebook. 

Final Score..... 28 for CSU and 25 for the Cougars 

CSU Band at the Football game

CSU band

CSU football game

Football game

Military being sworn in on the field

Tisa.... our mentor being pied in the face.... money went to the local food pantry

Tisa afterwards 

People on bikes in the CSU Homecoming Parade

People in the Homecoming parade

Parade

..

Parade... they said Horse's were the first Hybrid

CSU band..... Eddie and Nathan are in this line

Fireworks for Homecoming

Fireworks for Homecoming

First signs of snow.... Estes Park! (Oct. 11, 2008)

Elk in Estes Park

Memories

I have been tagged by Misty: 

Here's what you have to do. You need to open your sixth photo folder, and open the sixth photo, and you need to post it. And you need to hope that you remember what it is!!!!

This is a photo from Missouri. Not too exciting...but they are butterflies! haha!

Hm....I don't have 6 people to tag....

1. Katrina

2. Shelby

October 3rd through 5th

So, 

I left for Alamosa on the 3rd of October for a few days and have the best time ever! 

I got to meet a guy named Zachary whom i had been talking to for over a year and we had gotten to know each other very well. He is just as great of a guy in person as he has been through email, text, Im and phone conversations. 

It was a 5 hour long drive but once i got there it was totally worth it! I really like it there, even though at first it looked like an abandoned town and was all scary looking but it was all good. I enjoyed it and the outdoors is amazing! The campus is also really nice, but the dorms really are not. As I walked through one of the dorm halls with Zachary it felt like a prison cell and was really just not comforting. 

I did end up staying at Zachary's appartment on the COUCH! hehe

Saturday Zachary and I took a walk, talked, walked around the tiny little town, and watched 2 movies. He took me out to eat lunch/dinner and it was yummy! That evening i went to see Nick, whom some of you know as my "ex" and i met his fiance and that wasn't bad at all, but he just made it more ackward then it should have been becasue that is just how he is. Zachary and Nick do not get along at all, so it was really just weird going to see Nick when i was staying at Zachary's but whatever....Nick can get over it, he is getting married anyway! 

Sunday I had breakfast with Zachary and then I left town and headed back to Fort Collins around 11. It only took about 4 hours to get back enstead of the 5 hours it was suppose to take, but i didn't mind! I was soooo tired, i needed sleep, i didn't get much while in Alamosa. 

So, overall, that was my first road trip by myself and I had the most amazing time ever! I really enjoyed being out and having fun! I don't see how I can have more fun in the Springs and in Alamosa where I dont' even live and here i am in Fort Collins and am not having much fun!

Oh, well....i still don't know what i am going to do about next semester but I think at this rate i might just stay here but I don't know....we will see

I am going to be hanging out with Nathan a lot more because we are in biology lecture and lab together, and we also have a study group with one other person named Eddie together on Wednesday nights, and now we have a biology research project we need to do together. I really like being with Nathan, he is a fabulous guy. He makes me laugh, and makes me forget about the ridiculous people here at CSU, it is great. I have talked to Nathan, and we plan on doing CdLS as our reseach project/presentation which i am excited about. 

I am going on a hike with Eddie (study group guy) on the 18th and I am really excited about that! I am so ready to do something fun and exciting and get out of Fort Collins again and just enjoy nature! I love being outdoors and this is the perfect opportunity, especially with the leaves and things changing!!!

Well, I believe that is all for now, family weekend is coming up the 10th -12th and I believe mum and Loyal are the only ones coming up...but we plan on going to Estes Park on Saturday and that will be exciting because my mum is brining my real camera up!!!! Yay! I miss that thing!!

Well, i hope you all are doing okay and I hope to hear from you all! 

Things May Be Looking Up

Hello, 

So, these last two days (Friday and Saturday) have gone by extremely fast but they have also been a blast thanks to some special people!

Friday the 19th, i did not attend class, but instead went on a Volunteer opportunity to Kearney Middle school, the middle school in Commerce City, right outside of Denver. The town is VERY rough, with a lot of gangs and it is very under developed with a lot of the lower classes living there. We left at 6:35am! It was ridiculously early, but we had to drive over an hour and a half to get there. The kids at the school are very special. These kids do not see college as an opportunity for them, and so we headed over there to talk to the 8th graders about college and how no matter what your financial status, you can go to college.  My cluster group (20 CSU students) played an egg toss (hard boiled of course) type game with the kids. We found out that the point of the game was to express to the kids that practice and patience and good communication can get you a long way. We had a blast with the kids, and the kids seemed to have a really joyful time as well.  I was relieved that I got to miss class for a great experience and had a fabulous time! We left the school around 12:30, and got back to the school around 2pm. It was a long day, but a fun one. Later that evening, a friend from High School, that i hadn't really talked to or seen since arriving here, called me up and asked if i wanted to join her and a few of her friends for dinner and a movie. So, i agreed and we headed to dinner at Red Robin's and then went to see "My Best Friends Girl" That was intense.....VERY much sexual but quite funny.  After that, we headed back and she asked if I wanted to join her at the football game on Saturday. I agreed. 

Saturday 20th, 

Well, on Saturday I met up with Therese at about 10am because some of her friends wanted to tailgate so we were going to join them. Well.......that plan sort of disappeared quickly! We got to her friends' dorm, and they were barely out of bed and hadn't even begun to change yet. So we waited, and waited, and waited.....about 2.5 hours later (no joke!) they were ready! By that time, it was already around 12:30 so the tailgating was pretty much done because of the idea and fact that the game started at 1:30, and we still had to get to the stadium. We went to wait for the bus, but by 12:45 it still hadn't arrived so Therese ended up driving us....we had four in the back bed of the truck (which is NOT illegal here in Fort Collins) and then Therese and I in the cab. We found out that they pretty much shut down the main roads down here when there is a football game, so if you aren't going to the football game, and you try and go your "normal" route, you are screwed because it only leads directly into the parking lot of the stadium, no where else.  It is crazy. So, we get there around 1pm and walk a little bit and then decide to head into the stadium. We went into the stadium and found a place to stand. The game starts, and CSU gets the first touchdown! Yay! This is fabulous, because our team really is not a good football team and everyone knows it. But we managed to keep on track the whole game and by the 3rd quarter, CSU was still winning. With 2 min left on the clock in the 4th quarter, that is where everything became intense and crazy! The as time continued down, the score became 28 to 25 (Houston). With everything SOOO close, everyone was crazy and intense and we WON!!! We are now officially undefeated, because the CSU vs CU game does not count because they are not in our division.  I had a great time at the game EVEN though, crazy drunk creepy kids kept touching me. I have never been so personally violated at a football game as i we there! It was ridiculous! They were so drunk and tehy kept touching me, and so i told them twice, that the police officer that was only 3 rows down, was going to become my friend..and they sort of laid off. They then started pushing each other around and ran into one guy pushing him forward on to the row in front of him. That guy then turned around and punched the other guy in the face....it was CRAZY! But, alas, they called it off right then, and nothing more happened. We headed back to campus and had dinner and then I headed back to my dorm. 

I got back to the room (around 6pm) and then shortly after, Angela got back and we headed to Safeway and Walmart and I got some food. I spent $50 between the two places. :( Not cool!!! When we got back, it was after 8pm, I was putting away the food, and decided that we had TOO many cookies so i packed up 3 packages of cookies and a pack of cupcakes into a bag, and asked Nathan if he wanted them, but alas he did not. I then asked this girl Chantel who is a daniels Scholar like me, if she wanted them.....it took a few minutes to convince her to take them, but she did! I then delivered them to the room that she told me to, and it was just her friend liz in there, and then left. A short while later, she texted me and asked me to come join her. So i did, and it was Nathan, Chantel and Liz there. We all just hung out, they ordered pizza, and then we "watched" a movie "Baby Mama" No one really watched it, Nathan and Liz were messing around with a Nathan's cell phone, and Chantel was pretty much falling asleep. Nathan and I started texting each other even though we were in the same room, but alas we decided we should head to bed because it was after midnight and Nathan had church in the morning. So, we headed out and i stopped next door which is Nathan's room to pick up 3 movies he wanted me to watch. I have those, and have to get to watching them sometime, when i magically appear with time. 

But over all, the last 2 days have been great and things seem to be looking up, but i am not sure how long it will last, but it is great right now. I am going to be doing a lot of homework today, even though i was going to do a 3 mile walk, but i too much homework :( 

I am suppose to be leaving for Alamosa on the 3rd of October, but am unsure if i still want to because the person i was going to meet down there and I are not getting a long right now, and it seems as though they are hiding something and it is pissing me off, but they won't tell me what is going on! Not nice!

I will update soon! I miss you all!!

Wow....3 weeks and so much has happened!

To who ever reads this.  I want to say in advance that this will be a very long post because it has been a while since i last updated and so much has happened it is just crazy!

I miss all of you very much and hope you are all doing really well! 

I miss talking to you, and feel free to email me or send me a letter! I would love to hear from you all, and I promise you will return messages and mail if i receive them, but i must receive it before i can respond. :)

So, back to my update.

The last few weeks have been full of craziness! I do not really remember what i posted in my last blog, so i am just going to tell the highlights. I went home for labour day weekend, which would have been my first weekend after a full week of classes. I was not really ready to go home, but it was a 3 day weekend and it was a perfect opportunity. I did not do much while i was down there unlike what i expected. i thought i would go out with the family and stuff, but i did not and so i just stayed at home and got on the computer. I did however go out with some friends to dinner, and the mall, and we rented a movie we were out really late and it was really great and we had a blast! I headed back up to CSU on Monday and it was a great ride back, we did not encounter a lot of traffic like we were expecting, it took us a little under 2.5 hours which is good because it is suppose to take 2.5 hours so that worked out. It took Angela and I almost 4 hours to get back home when we left that friday! it was absolutely ridiculous, but we made it home safely and thats all i can truly ask for. 

Angela and I are doing a good job at getting along in the room and we have not had really any fights living together. We have recently gone out of our comfort zone and adventured to the dinning halls and other things on our own, and that has really been an experience for the both of us. Neither one of us has really talked to anyone other then the people in our service cluster and even then we haven't' really talked. Upon arriving to campus i have really noticed that it will be harder to get to know each other and become friends with people then i thought because everyone is either into drinking or drugs or hookah. I am not into any of that nor do i want to be associated with any of that for many reasons, especially the drugs and drinking....under age spark anything? but yeah.....and i have also noticed there are  A LOT of clicks and it is getting really annoying and a pain in the butt to get around and actually get to know someone because they are always with crowds of people they have known for years. It will take some time, but i am hoping i can get to know a few more people through out the year. I have met 2 people, but that is really it. 

The school weeks have been very intense with a lot of reading, none of my classes really have homework except for my logic and critical thinking class, but that is because the teacher sucks at teaching and he isn't even a teacher! He is a teachers aid and is a graduate student. He always contradicts himself and we are all getting really annoyed and have stopped paying attention because when he teaches something, two sentences later he changes what he just said and says he "made a mistake" yeah, no! We are all getting annoyed, especially when he assigns us homework and says he is going to collect it but changes his mind the day we are suppose to turn it in  just because he has his own homework to do and doesnt' feel like grading it! No! Not fair, if we have to spend our time doing the stupid homework even though we have other assignments due, it should be graded or at least collected and looked over. He is not a good teacher which is going to hurt the students in the long run because he doesn't care if you know it, he said that if he teaches it then we should get it and it will be on the test no matter what, but if students don't understand it, then there is obviously a problem with him teaching! But ooh well, i only have about 9 more weeks left and it is going by so fast! 

My other classes are going really well especially biology and biology lab. I have met a guy named Nathan in my biology class who just happens to be in my biology lab class also (which is very rare) and so that has been great! He is a great guy and we really get a long well which is a good thing for multiple reasons. He is in Angela's service cluster so that means he lives in braiden hall (where I am living). We have a study group for biology set up for Sunday the 14th which will be not so exciting since our test is coming up! Other then that classes are really good and I sign up for spring classes next month and I am so ready to do that! I already have a list of classes that i will be signing up for and just cannot wait to actually do that and that just means this year is even closer to coming to an end then i thought! These last three weeks have gone by sooooo fast it is absolutely crazy to think about. 

Even now, as I think about this and write this blog, i cannot believe i am 18 years old and in college already! These last 18 years went by so fast! It is so scary to think that I will be living totally on my own next school year. I am getting an apartment and will be getting a part time job. I have a job now, but it is just work study and it is fabulous, but only working 8 hours a week won't support me next year. This year will go by extremely fast and I already know that I am going to regret not doing things, but it is hard to be motivated to do stuff, when no one will do it with you! I haven't even gone downtown which is a while 10 minute from campus because i do not like walking in unknown places by myself, but i cannot get Angela to go with me, but that is okay....i will be going on a hike with nathan soon and I am so excited to do that! 

So, i have brought up Nathan a few times now, and I know you are wondering who he is, and if he means anything. He is a guy i met in biology lab. He was in my lab group and we got to talking at which point he said he was in Angela's service cluster and so i asked Angela for his last name and she looked it up on her list of people and i contacted him on facebook. A few days later in biology i approached him and we sat next to each other and began to talk and get to know each other. Our biology lecture class has 380 students registrared so we have to get to class like 30 minutes early to get a good seat where you can still see things and hear the teacher. Nathan and I both save each other and another guy a seat and we pretty much arrived around the same time which is about 7:35 am and class starts at 8am! It is so crazy! Well, this past week Nathan and I have gotten to talk a lot more and he bought me a bagel after biology lab on Tuesday! it was so nice of him, i protested but he insisted and did it anyway. We are going to try to make it a weekly thing, i mean he already goes to get a bagel after our biology lecture every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, but I am going to start joining him on Tuesday after lab, if we get out early enough. We can leave whenever we want after we finish our lab which we have 3 hours to do! I have a class at 11am every tuesday so yeah. He is a fabulous guy, he is going to major in zoology and is really enthusiastic about it. He is prepared and knows what he wants and doesnt' want in life. We have connected really well for not talking much until this past week. He makes it so easy to be around and doesnt' make things awkward which is great. We watched a movie in his room after we got our bagels and before i left for my class and that was another opportunity for us to get to know each other. He has agreed to go on some hikes with me as long as there is water so that he can go water hopping or something like that, which is fine with me. He does band and choir and used to do football but has chosen to drop that because of the time constraint. He wants me to join choir but i have to work during the hours of choir. I will keep you updated on friendships that form and of course this. 

My mum is coming up this weekend to visit with Loyal and so we are going to go out into the town (which isn't big....haha) which pretty much means just off campus and go downtown and walk around. I am ready to get off campus and do something instead of walking around and looking at the same stuff everyday! I will not be going back to the springs until November for Thanksgiving break so I am really getting excited to be leaving town and just staying here in Ft. Collins which is now my home at least for the next 4 years.

Angela has a friend coming from denver next weekend so we are ready for that and glad that we have something planned out and will not be hanging out in the dorm by ourselves again! We are getting tired of that! So, yeah. It will also help the week go by fast knowing there is something exciting coming up. 

The last weekend of this month we have cluster challenges were each service group that we are in does a challenge or two with another group and we just see who is the "best" of all 9 groups. WE are sort of excited but not really because neither of us are really into being competitive and everyone here is already competitive so that is another weekend we have stuff planned for! That is like 3 weekends in a row that we have stuff planned for and we are really excited!

Angela is headed home on the 3rd of October for her sisters birthday, I am going to Alamosa for that weekend to meet up with a friend named Zachary. I am unsure if i still want to go because we have had some problems and we aren't sure what we want anymore, but I still have 3 weeks to decide what I want and what is possible to do. Mum has agreed to let me go although she does want someone to go with me, but i cannot find anyone to go with, so I might be taking the 5 hour drive down there by myself through the mountains and unknown areas but I believe i can handle it because i will leave on friday at 2pm as soon as i get out of my class, i will not even go back to the room except to use the restroom. My stuff will already be in the car, so i should get there around 7pm which is before it gets too dark and stuff so that is a really good plus. I will be leaving that sunday around noon which will be me back to ft. collins around 5pm which gives me time to do some lovely homework and that stuff. I don't know, i might not go, but i would rather do it now before it begins to snow because i refuse to do it then. I will keep you updated on what i choose to do with that situation too. 

I am sorry for this being so long and rambling, but that is what has been happening since i last posted something. I wish i had photos to show you, but i do not. :( I need to get on that and start taking photos of people and things around here. I will be sure to do that tomorrow and will post some photos of downtown and maybe some of campus too. 

I hope to hear from you all soon and i hope you are all doing well! 

I miss you and kisses for everyone! 

Love, 

Jennifer

First 3 days of college!!

Hello Everyone!!!

Wow, I have not updated this in a while and have realized that, but school has just started and since this is about college then that would only seem right, but on August 20th, at 5:15am, I left the house and headed up to Colorado State University. 

It has been an adventure. I will go though the last few days for you here. 

Aug. 20th, 2008:

I left for CSU and arrived in under 3 hours and stood in line for over an hour to get signed in. I got my room and my room mate Angela and I headed to the room to start loading things in. Our RA is Kumar and he is quite interesting....he is fun and tries to be serious but it doesn't work. Angela and I got all of our stuff moved in and our parents stayed to help and get things organized. We got things in the closets and the beds made and all of that lovely stuff. We then all headed to lunch and had our last meal together. It was really nice and the food here really isnt' too bad. We did receive one of the dorms that doesn't have the best food, but it wasn't too bad to me. We then walked our parents to the car at which time we said goodbye and gave our last hugs until next time and it was a bitter sweet moment! Later shortly after they left we had our first of many meetings for Key Service (community service thing) and well, that was boring. We had and hour and a half lecture at which point most of us fell asleep! We then got into our groups and talked about our expectations and everything like that. We also played some games like we were 2 years old so that was stupid. We didn't get done with all of that stuff until after 6pm and by the time we got to the room and stuff it was about 7pm and Angela and I were so tired! Angela headed to bed around 8pm so i got on the computer (my life saver) and talked to a few people here at CSU and agreed to meet up with a few that night. We walked around and played "catch phrase" or something like that, and that was nice. I headed back to the room about 9pm and was in bed at about 9:30. 

Aug. 21, 2008:

Well today was another busy and early day. We didn't have to be up until about 6:45 but it was still early and it was all just for meetings. So we went to breakfast with our cluster groups and then went to meetings. We then met one of our professors which all of us would be having for our sociology freshman seminar. It is a class of 20 and its seems like it will be exciting. We then walked around and found all of the classes and building so that was a big help. I feel a lot better about that, and am not so worried about trying to find classes the first day. 

Later in the day Angela and I headed to the Ram Welcome Ceremony and that was crowded and it really wasn't interesting so we headed back to the room and then later in the night we headed back out after it cooled off.  At that point we met up with a girl named Katrina who was an IB student and I have been talking to her since January. We stayed there and walked and talked until about 11:30 or so. We then went back to the dorm and got ready for bed. The sleeping area here isn't bad. We have plenty of room but our own space at the same time. We are on the first floor which isnt' the best but it is still nice not to have to climb stairs every time you have to go somewhere. 

There are many different people here and its just different and interesting at the same time. I am ready for this change. 

Aug. 22, 2008:

Today was full of........NOTHING!!!! Hehe, today was so relaxing and it was really nice. I was suppose to go to a meeting at like 9am, but they screwed me over and so i did not go. I relaxed until about 12, when Angela came back from her meeting and we walked around for a while and then at 3:30pm i had an exam for english so i went and did that. I am now sitting here writing this. I am so freaking tired, but i need to go to another social gathering at like 8pm, so i will just wait and go to bed later. haha. Its been full of busyness the last few days which has its ups and downs at the same time. I havent' really thought a lot about home which is really nice, but sad at the same time. Well, I will update a little later and possibly just add to this one when i get back to the dorm tonight. 

I hope you all are really doing well and I hope to hear from you soon!!!! 

Lots of love to everyone!!!

--Jennifer

Challenge by Misty

This is a thing from Misty's Profile, that i thought would be interesting to do.

"Six Things You Might Not Know About Me"

1. I do not trust easily, nor do i forgive easily. I have been working on it for a while now, and it is getting easier, but just like everything else in life it takes time.

2. I do not affiliate with any religion....I am unsure of my own beliefs right now, but i am exploring more and more things, and trying to come up with what i find to be true...some people say I am Agnostic, but I am unsure if there is a higher power...so that is still question.

3. I eat a ton of food, even though it does not seem that way! I love Chick-fil-A and I am extremely glad there is one located no more then 10 minutes away! It is fantastic, but I do not like non-organic veggtables because i watched a show about pesticides, and that changed my whole look at veggies, but i do love food!

4. Most people might know this....but I love shopping, but I hate spending money! I am the cheapest person alive! Even if it is really, really, really needed I spend a couple hours or even days thinking about the pros and cons about getting the item, and what happens in the future if i get that item...will it help me later? What if i really need that money on something else? So, needless to say....when i start a career I will have a lot of money in the bank and will still be complaining about not having money and living in tiny little house.

5. I am not the typical teenager. I do not like loud drinking parties, nor do I wish to ever try a drug of any sort! I am not the typical teen girl either, i do not like dresses, and I do not like trying to act pretty and fancy around people. I love t-shirts and jeans and shorts. I love to hike and play in the dirt, especially at Garden of the Gods in the early mornings....around 7 or 7:30am!!! I love to volunteer my time, and most of all.....I love little kids!

6. I am still much of a little girl at heart, in the sense that i love Tinkerbell. I don't really know why...just is amazing, along with pretty much anything else that is Disney, typically the older things not the new disney crap. I also love the Carebears...once again the OLD ones, not the new ones....the new ones tend to scare me and are just not the same!!!

Well, to anyone to actually reads this....go on and i challenge you to do this too!!!

Summer

Wow,
Its summer time! I have been out of school for a while now and it has been amazing. I love the fact that I do not have to wake up early every single day to sit in a class full of stupid kids who could careless to be there! I am so excited to head to Ft. Collins in the fall and start a new life! I am not a person who trusts easy nor do I make friends easy which is why i am glad to be leaving childish people and head on to a school of over 23.000 which will allow for the opportunity to find friends that are not childish and who accept me for who I am.
I am excited for this summer because I can be myself and hopefully get a little money although I do not have a job, nor am I really looking for one because I have days here and there that I would need time off for and that would just not be fair for the people that i would be working for. I have a job on the weekends babysitting which I love! I have gained a scholarship and will be headed to Denver to a week long camp at which time they will tell us somethings that are important and we will learn more about the other people that have recieved the scholarship and possibly find someone that is going to the same school.
I am leaving for Ft. Collins in the fall, as I have said before and am excited but nervous at the same time. I am so ready to leave and start a new life, but not ready to be totally one my own! My friend Angela will be going with me and we will be rooming together which is going to be amazing but challenging. I am going to major in Health and Exercise Science with a concentration in Sports Medicine and then plan on going into Occupational Therapy. I have decided that I will be working with children not adults or young adults!
I have a love for photography which is another reason I have decided to blog. I have recently spent $938 on a professional Canon camera. I bought a Canon SLR XSI. I has been amazing and I have also recently bought a new lens which cost more then I expected but I love photography which is why I was willing to spend so much money. I really enjoy photos of children and black-white. I have tried out filters and do not like those...some are okay but when I use them, they come out weird and I would rather stick with natural, black-white and sepia photos! I also love senery photos. I take photos of anything just to get away from people, and to relax and de-stress! It helps so much and I am grateful for it!
Well, I am off for now, I have no clue when I will update next, but this is for family and close friends to be updated on my college life as i leave the nest! So, when I head to college in the fall, it will be updated more :)